A Slow Process

If you’ve ever seen the sloths in the animated film Zootopia, you understand how exceedingly frustrating it can be to deal with an agonizingly slow process. However, God never seems to be in a hurry to accomplish His good work, whether the physical development and growth of a young child, or the spiritual maturation of a follower of Christ. Sanctification is a slow process.

But have you ever stopped to consider why growth toward maturity in Christ is so slow? One of my professors at Talbot–Dr. Steve Porter–offered a very insightful answer to that question, in an article he penned, appropriately titled “The Gradual Nature of Sanctification.” His thesis centers around an understanding of (what the Bible commonly refers to as) “the flesh” as not merely a behavioral bent toward sinful acts, but a relational bent toward autonomy from God. This is how Dr. Porter describes the Christian’s battle with “the flesh” (or sarx, which is the Greek word usually translated “flesh” or “sin nature” in the New Testament):

…[W]hat stands in the way of progress in holiness is not merely sarx understood as the Christian’s habituated desire to sin, but sarx understood as the Christian’s habituated desire to be one’s own god. To make no provision for the flesh, then, is to put to death ingrained attempts to utilize one’s natural resources to live apart from God and instead to engage in practices of deepening dependence on the nourishment available by the Spirit, which brings forth the fruit of the Spirit. This means that the choice to “stop” rebelling and “start” depending is not ultimately a willpower issue. Rather, it is an interpersonal issue. In particular, it is an issue that involves coming to a greater trust/faith in the love and goodness of God as well as despairing of the attempt to find life apart from God.

So much of my despair over how hard life continues to be with our adopted daughter, as well as my frustration over relational patterns in my marriage that never seem to change, is rooted in an expectation that I should be able to figure these things out and “fix” them. But I can’t. And when I run up against that wall of my human limitations, then I spiral into despair and hopelessness. But if God’s intent in all these trials is to deepen my trust and dependence on Him and to rid me of my attempts to find life apart from Him, then I might be able to see this wall as a blessing rather than a source of despair. And I might be better able to extend patience and grace to myself and my family members when the change we all desire is so painfully slow in coming.

This process of learning new strategies of dependence on God is analogous to the same process in a marriage relationship, Dr. Porter says.

What makes spiritual growth challenging—and therefore, often slow—is that it requires persons to learn to trust, love, and depend on God in ways that they have previously learned to trust, love, and depend on themselves. Learning to trust, love, and draw life from another person—especially God—is far more complex than learning various strategies of strengthening one’s willpower. It is analogous to growth in a marriage relationship. If it were merely a matter of consistently engaging one’s spouse in certain ways (e.g., date nights, clear communication, sacrificial service) and refraining from activities that undermine the relationship (e.g., deception, workaholism, outbursts of anger), marital growth could, in principle, come about quite easily and rapidly. The problem is that a husband (or wife) can be consistently engaging his spouse in the right sort of ways and refraining from activities that undermine the marriage and nonetheless still lack trust, love, and dependence on his spouse. Just as we cannot reduce a marriage relationship to the activities that foster marital growth, we cannot reduce relationship with God to the willpower necessary to consistently engage the means of grace and refrain from sin.

In other words, doing good behavior and not doing bad behavior is not the essence of maturity in Christ. After all, Jesus had some scathing rebukes for the religious folks whose good behavior pushed them away from God rather than closer to Him. (See Matthew 15:1-9.) And Jesus welcomed people who trusted in Him, despite their questionable behavior. (See Luke 7:36-50.) Right behavior is important, but right relationship is primary.

Trust in God, love for God, and dependence on God grow in tiny increments over a long period of time–a lifetime in fact. It is a very slow process. The good news, though, is that we can train our hearts to trust, love, and depend on God. Spiritual disciplines–or the means of grace–are not aimed at merely reforming our behavior, but are meant to deepen our relationship of trust and dependence on Christ. Sanctification is a slow process, but nothing is more valuable. So stick with the process–it’s definitely worth it!

 

Margin Requires Teamwork

Last week I wrote that in order for a person like Martha to carve out margin in her life, she must have others come alongside her to help make that happen–margin for a Martha requires teamwork. So what does that kind of teamwork look like?

One of the biggest ways that I have experienced that kind of teamwork is in the care of my daughter Anah, who has special needs. Care for her never ends, and the weight of that care has increased as it has become more clear what she is–and isn’t–capable of doing on her own. Because that care is so heavy and so constant, it eats up all our margin and we as a family need others outside our family to help carry the load. So there are a handful of friends from our church who have come alongside at various times to host our daughter for a weekend at their homes, and that has been such a blessing!

If it is just up to our family, one individual can carve out some margin, but it comes at the expense of less margin for another family member (which is what happened with Mary and Martha). Certainly that is part of the give and take of loving one another well as a family; however, for the “Martha” members of the family, margin can disappear altogether in their quest to serve the family well. Thus to have people outside our family giving time to provide care helps to keep us from the tug-o-war within the family of who needs margin more or whose turn it is to brush Anah’s teeth. And it grants us the wonderful gift of enjoying some down-time together.

So as I celebrate Thanksgiving this year, I am so grateful that God has not only given me a family who serves one another and loves those who are needy, but God has also placed me in a church family who loves well and gives sacrificially. Those are tremendous blessings regardless, but especially for a “Martha” like myself, if I did not have that kind of teamwork, I know I would end up not only “worried and bothered” (like Martha in Luke 10:41) but completely burnt out and ineffective.

 

Margin for a Martha

I’ve been thinking about margin this week. Initially, it was because my pastor preached this past Sunday on the importance of margin, but mainly, it’s due to the tension I feel between knowing the value of margin and yet continually living without it.

Margin has been defined as “the space between our load and our limits” (see Dr. Richard Swenson’s excellent book Margin). No margin, therefore, means no extra space–that our load exceeds our limits. Overload is the obvious–and inevitable–result.

I know the tremendous value of margin, both theoretically and experientially. (It’s a topic I’ve read about and taught repeatedly.) I long for margin, because I see the positive effects in my own life and relationships. I fear overload, because I see the negative effects in my life and relationships. Yet more often than not, I find myself in a place of overload rather than margin. Thus when I hear a sermon on the importance of margin or read an article on the dangers of overload, I feel drawn toward what I know to be true and valuable, yet at the same time I experience some pushback against what often feels like a simplistic solution to a complex concern.

The question I’m currently wrestling with is this: How does someone with a personality like Jesus’ hospitable friend Martha gain margin? In all that is written and preached about Mary and Martha (see Luke 10:38-42), usually Mary is the one held up as the shining example of devotion, and Martha is looked down on as the one who is too busy to spend time with Jesus. But let’s not be too quick to throw Martha under the bus and condemn her for her busyness and lack of margin.

Martha’s hospitality and devotion to serving Jesus is certainly laudable. Especially in the culture of her time, it would be unthinkable and shameful to not provide lavish hospitality to a guest coming into her home. That kind of hospitality requires work. Martha willingly gave of her time and energy to do the work of serving her guest appropriately. And in fact she was absolutely right that there was more work on her shoulders because of Mary’s choice to sit at Jesus’ feet. Therefore Martha’s lack of margin is not due to a selfish squandering of her time or a lazy disregard for proper self-care.

The solution usually offered, which makes perfect sense to everyone except Martha, is that she should simply stop her serving and join Mary in sitting at Jesus’ feet. But as I look at Jesus’ response in the passage, I’m not sure if that is what He is saying to her. Certainly there is no direct admonition to cease serving. Jesus’ gentle reprimand may simply be a response to Martha’s angry demand of help from Mary. He validates Mary’s choice, but does not give a reciprocal command that Martha follow suit.

In other passages in the Gospels, Jesus definitely places very high value on sacrifice and service (see John 13:14-15, Mark 10:45, and John 15:13, among others), setting Himself as the model for that kind of service. Prior to His death, He tells His disciples, “…let the greatest among you become as the youngest, and the leader as one who serves. For who is the greater, one who reclines at table or one who serves? Is it not the one who reclines at table? But I am among you as the one who serves.” (Luke 22:26-27, italics added) So in His reply to Martha, I’m wondering if Jesus is in some way also validating her heart of service, while at the same time helping her see the bigger perspective–that one day even her gracious gift of serving will come to an end.

It seems to me that the solution for Martha is not just that she stop serving and start listening to Jesus, but that she receives help in her serving in order to then carve out margin to listen to Jesus. How could the story have been different if Mary first helped her sister get the appropriate serving accomplished, so that both sisters could then sit at the feet of Jesus? Martha–and people with a similar personality today–need others to come alongside to help them carve out margin in ways that honor their God-given bent toward sacrificial serving. Margin for a Martha requires teamwork. Because God has gifted her with an eye that notices all that needs to be done to make others feel at home and a heart that finds joy in carrying those details out, she will find it almost impossible to simply stop serving and start listening to Jesus. Instead, she needs someone who knows her well to come alongside and work with her to accomplish what needs to be done so that both in turn can then turn their attention on the One who matters most.

Obviously, Martha does still need to learn to be satisfied with serving that falls short of her high standard of perfection, so she is still responsible for her choices that make margin difficult. However, I think we do a disservice to her (and to others who share that kind of personality) when we assume a simplistic solution that squelches a core expression of her devotion and love. Therefore, I believe teamwork is vital if Martha is going to have a chance at carving out margin in her life.

[to be continued…]

 

Salvation in the Present Tense

Psalm 118 has been a lifeline for my heart in the past few months–I keep coming back to it again and again, in the pain of loss, the exhaustion of caring for special needs, and the stress of ministry. Again and again God is showing Himself to be the anchor of my soul, and I can say with the psalmist: “The Lord is my strength and my song; He has become my salvation” (v. 14).

In Christian circles, when we speak of salvation, most of the time we are referring to an event in the past–either what Christ accomplished through His death and resurrection, or what has been granted once-and-for-all to those of us who have placed our trust in Him. Generally we think of salvation in the past tense.

But there is a such a thing as salvation in the present tense as well. It is present salvation that the psalmist is rejoicing in, not just something that took place in the distant past. God is answering him (v. 21) and helping him (v. 13) and setting him free (v. 5)–that is the present salvation he is celebrating. Deliverance in the midst of difficult circumstances is a significant way that God’s salvation for His beloved children continues in the present.

The hymn by Keith and Kristyn Getty called The Lord Is My Salvation also speaks of salvation in the present tense. Verse two expresses thoughts similar to Psalm 118:

I will not fear when darkness falls
His strength will help me scale these walls
I’ll see the dawn of the rising sun
The Lord is my salvation

When walls loom high and darkness threatens, we not only need to be reminded of the finished work of Christ on the cross that paid the great cost for our sin, but we also need to hold tight to the present reality of His strength and help. The Lord is our salvation. Present tense. Right now.

Again, in the fourth verse:

In times of waiting, times of need
When I know loss, when I am weak
I know His grace will renew these days
The Lord is my salvation

When the waiting for longed-for marriage never ends, we need a present salvation. When we cannot see how unexpected expenses will be met, we need a present salvation. When the loss of a parent (or a child) leaves a gaping hole, we need a present salvation. When temptation pulls our heart toward sin yet again, we need a present salvation.

In all of these present circumstances, and infinitely many more, the grace of Christ enters in with deliverance and hope, allowing us to confidently proclaim with the psalmist, “The Lord is my strength and my song; He has become my salvation.”