Monday was a hard day.
Monday was Gotcha Day–six years ago on a Monday in Nanning, China, a little girl (whom we have since named Anah Joy) marched through the door of our hotel room and we became a family of six.
Despite the truth that special-needs adoption is a beautiful picture of the Gospel, the reality is that special-needs adoption is also very, very hard. And as much as we need to celebrate the goodness of God’s gift to us in this adoption, we would not be honest if we downplayed the difficulty that we have encountered in the course of these six years.
So I wasn’t really looking forward to Monday. It just felt like another reminder of how hard life has been, how much I have failed to love and lead my family well, and how far away any significant change feels.
I sat through my Talbot class early Monday morning, then headed immediately to church for our weekly staff meeting, attempted to cram six hours of work into two hours of afternoon, and got back on the crowded freeway to pick up Anah at home and take her to a physical therapy appointment.
After the appointment, as we got in the car to drive home, I selected a playlist from my phone because Anah loves to sing and listen to music (and I didn’t feel like trying to talk with her). I couldn’t think of any particular songs I wanted to listen to, so I hit “shuffle” and started driving.
Some people may argue that God’s sovereignty surely doesn’t dictate such small things as the order of songs in shuffle mode, but I think God selected the six songs that played in that 30-minute drive. Why do I think that? Because they weren’t just songs that Anah knew and could sing along with, but they were a series of songs that my moping soul desperately needed to hear on Gotcha Day 2018.
Now of course if a favorite song plays from a shuffled playlist (especially when the playlist is called “Favorites”), I don’t immediately think “Wow–God did that!” But when the song that plays connects directly with the particular heaviness my heart is feeling, I am grateful. And then when the second song that plays connects again with that heaviness, I think “Hmm…that’s pretty cool.” But this was six songs in a row! All the way home! Every one touched that hurting place in my heart, reminding me of God’s good work in the midst of the pain. You can do the math and figure out the probability if you want, but I say God selected those songs to minister to a son He sees and knows and cares for.
Monday was a hard day. But God ministered to my heart in the midst of all that is hard. And He did so in a rather unexpected and uncommon way. Isn’t that just like our God?
If you’re interested, here are the songs that God selected for me on Gotcha Day Monday:
Blessings (Laura Story)
Fall Apart (Josh Wilson)
The Hurt & The Healer (MercyMe)
Already There (Casting Crowns)
Mercy Awaits (Enfield)
All I Have Is Christ (Sovereign Grace Music)